Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
