Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
Randomize