return my video game
I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
I'm storing dick pics, so basically if I'm still single after residency...ur gonna get bombarded. It's gonna be a blizzard of dicks.
Feel free to keep your blizzard of dicks to yourself.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Randomize
