Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
Randomize
