If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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