Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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