See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
