That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Randomize
