Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
Randomize
