Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My ass is underappreciated
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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