We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
