My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I have already put on my inside pants.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
Randomize
