Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Randomize
