tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
