If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Randomize
