yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
