your parents love me but you hate me
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
