You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
