I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
Well someone named our apartment "the eiffel tower" on facebook check-in so I think they know..
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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