You're completely useless in the revolution.
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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