people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
puking in a sink with a garbage disposal Fucking. Rules. It's like you're punishing your puke when you're done.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Randomize
