He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
