is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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