the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
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