Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
