you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
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