No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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