Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
Randomize
