I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
you never un-have a 4some
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
