Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
