I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
i knew it was time to leave when he woke me up only wearing pooh bear oven mitts and holding a plate of thank you pancakes
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
