she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Randomize
