12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Stop touching yourself.
Wtf!?!?!?! Did you install a camera???
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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