Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
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