Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
