My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
