it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
