I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
