After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
