im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
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