is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
And the clouds opened up and the sex gods said I hate you alfalfa
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
