you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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