yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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