you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
