In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
I mean she's doing calculus in her head to prove how NOT drunk she is.
Randomize
