Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Welp last night I made out with the guy who slices my deli meat at publix. I'm sure there's a joke there but I'm too hungover to find it. Go noles.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
