And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
