i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
He told me to fart on his lap because the vibrations turned him on
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
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