my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Randomize
