This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
Randomize