sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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