we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
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