New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Everyone says I win the strip club
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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