you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
Randomize
