I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
