didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
