Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
he actually said the words "do you want to pet the lizard?" with a straight face as he unzipped his pants
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
i out mim tonsoeep
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
