She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I think im going to throw up on grandma
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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