i tried to hook up with a mom and then her husband came with num chucks
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
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