for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Randomize
