As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
