hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
