im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
