I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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